 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
2001 2002 |
August 2001 I wanted to write a lot more before this but my computer went down and it took weeks to get Dell to send me a replacement. I scrambled all day yesterday just putting it together because I won't be able to bend down after the operation. Anyway.... Today is August 26 and tomorrow morning at 8:00 I'll be having the surgery. I am generally a calm person in a crisis but today my nerves are pretty bad. I keep getting this feeling in the pit of my stomach – the kind of feeling you get when you're just about on top of the first hill of a huge roller coaster anticipating that big, fearful drop in just a second. You know it's going to be okay, but your heart is racing and your hands are sweating and you're scared nonetheless. I keep thinking, "I'm very healthy right now except for my knees hurting. What if I do this and become no longer obese, but have surgery complications that effect my health from now on?" I guess these last minute thoughts are normal. I just can't seem to be able to stop thinking about the short-term days ahead -- possible vomiting, severe pain, an inability to take care of myself for a while, wondering will I have what it takes to eat the way I must from now on... these are the things that are bothering me right now. I didn't go any big "last meal" kind of thing, but I did have some foods that I really enjoy. Today I want to eat light so I just had a chicken caesar salad and a cookie. That's officially my last sweet. I also took some pictures and videos of myself so I won't forget where I was, and I've taken measurements everywhere to keep track of inches as well as pounds. Gosh I can't wait to fit into the clothes that have been in my closet for years because I always said maybe one day I would fit into them again. I'm looking forward to this new life ahead. Thank you all who have given me your encouragement and support, for signing my guestbook and sending me sweet e-mail, and for those who have opened their hearts up to me in friendship through the OSSG-NE list. I will update this site just as soon as I am recovered enough to sit down to the computer. |
2003 2004 2005 2005
|
